Pretty Curls and Stolen Hearts
by Turtle Babe
Summary: AU/Yaoi-Someone just saved King Thorin from an assassination attempt. Thank you...Mahal, is that who I think it is?


**Pretty Curls and Stolen Hearts**

Just a little piece with some smutty fun within. Hope you like. Let me know if you do or don't.

Everyone stared as the pretty, coppery-haired dwarrowdam slit the throat of the assassin that had tried to make an attempt on the king's life in the middle of the Durin's Day masked ball.

"What?" Thorin breathed as the dead hit the ground while he stared into the mass of curls that tumbled down the ladies back and removed the eagle mask from his face, "How did you…thank you, Milady."

"Is that my dress?" Dis hissed as Thorin's savior turned around, "That _is_ my dress!"

"My apologies, Princess Dis," a very familiar voice spoke up as the savior removed his butterfly mask and everyone looked upon Nori in shocked silence, "I found out about this assassination attempt at the last minute and improvised."

"What in Mahal's Halls did you do to your hair?" Dori demanded as Noir turned and regarded him with a mass of long ringlet curls covered in dainty braids, chains, and beads, "You've cut your eyebrow braids and your beard looks like mother's did. You look like a lass."

"That was the whole _point_, Dori," the spymaster chuckled before pausing as Bifur walked up and looked at his front and then his back repeating the actions over and over again, "Can I help you?"

"I think my cousin is confused," Bofur spoke up pushing his carved, leaf mask up with a wide grin, "The dress shows your back, but there still seems to be quite a bit of a bosom there. How are you filling out the chest with nothing holding anything up?"

Nori blinked when Bifur, wearing a matching mask to his cousin, pulled the neckline down a little to catch a peek at what the "breasts" really were.

"That is rude!" Dori snarled batting at Bifur's hand, "Don't be looking down my brother's dress."

"_My_ dress," Dis snorted as Nori chuckled.

"Here Bombur," Nori laughed as he tossed his "breasts" to the dwarf, "A little snack for later."

"Apples? Really?" Bofur asked in disbelief, "How'd they stay up?"

"Corset," Nori huffed turning to Dis, "I will never think that dwarrowdams have anything easy again. Anyone who can wear a corset all day is tougher than any warrior. I can barely breathe."

"You are a smart dwarf," Dis declared, "I will forgive you for wearing one of my favorite dresses since you are smart and saved my brother, but how did you curl that hair of yours? It's lovely."

"I will show you tomorrow," Nori offered before Thorin grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the door, "So forward, my king, we haven't even had dinner yet."

"Dwalin, get this creature so that I can get a report on what just happened," Thorin spat as he dropped the spymaster's arm in disgust while Dwalin hauled Nori over his shoulder.

"Brute," Nori shrieked playing his role well as titters and chuckles began to break out, "Unhand me this minute. Dori, I'm being taken advantage of."

Ori rolled in laughter as his eldest brother snarled and stomped over.

"Put him down this instance," Dori challenged as he blocked Dwalin's exit, "Nori can walk. Ori, stop laughing and Nori, behave yourself."

"Of course," Nori agreed as he was set on his feet and sashayed out the door.

Nori followed his king and looked over his shoulder to see the rest of the old company following. Obviously they wanted to hear how everything came about as well.

"Will you stop that!" Dwalin sneered as Nori blinked up at him.

"Stop what?" the spymaster asked.

"Swinging those hips of yours," Dwalin pointed out angrily.

"Swinging? Oh. That's not me it's these shoes," Nori groused as he stopped and pulled up his skirts to show the warrior the dainty booted-slippers he was wearing, "They are murder to move around in and the heels give the rear a real hitch when you walk."

"Stop looking up my brother's skirts," Dori snarled as he pulled Nori behind him, "For shame, Dwalin."

"My brother was not looking up Nori's skirt," Balin challenged walking up, "Nori showed off his legs like a harlot."

"How dare you?" Dori shrieked in outrage as Ori began cackling again and hid behind his otter mask, "Ori, stop that. Nori is no harlot. He saved our king's life! Give him the respect he is due."

"Botheration," Nori swore before grunting as he was again hauled over Dwalin's shoulder, "I can walk."

"Not with those shoes," Dwalin decided as he followed Thorin into his office, "Take those off as soon as we sit. They look like they hurt."

Nori huffed but complied once he was back on his feet again. The slippers were quickly removed as the dress wearing dwarf groaned in contentment.

"Mahal's Blessing, that feels better," Nori hummed as the rest of the company chuckled around him, "Slippers are torture. Dwalin, remember that when you need to get someone to confess. Make them wear slippers and a corset and force them to walk around a lot. They'll crack in minutes, I can assure you."

"Tell me everything," Thorin demanded as he turned livid eyes on Nori.

"There has been rumors of unrest among the Blacklocks," Nori began before grunting as Dori forced him into a chair and began to try to pick out the braids, chains, and beads in his mane, "Ow, Dori. Don't pull so. Anyway, my contingent and I have been following the rumors closely since there has been some anger aimed at you, my king."

"At me?" Thorin echoed watching in fascination as Dori expertly unraveled the chains from his brother's mass of curls, "Why at me?"

"The Blacklocks feel that you should not be entitled to Erebor since it was your grandfather that caused the loss in the first place," Nori admitted as the company stood and began yelling in anger, "Don't blame me. I didn't agree with them."

"Calm yourselves," Thorin ordered as seats were taken again, "What else?"

"I've been following the rumors closely since there has been more and more anger brought up against you with each telling," Nori sighed before hissing as Dori tugged a bit harder on a particular bead.

"Sorry," Dori apologized, "The curls are making this difficult."

"Anyway, I found out that an assassin had been deployed, but had specific instructions to avoid me," Nori continued, "A guilded assassin would see through any of my people's hiding places or disguises, but then I decided on this and just went for it."

Nori gestured to himself as Dori rolled his eyes.

"So you've been at the ball the whole time disguised," Thorin chuckled as Nori stood and curtsied, "Sly devil. Are you okay, Kili?"

"I am not," Kili squeaked, "I've been trying to come up with enough nerve to go talk to the pretty darrowdam with beautiful hair and the lass was Nori. I'm going to be sick!"

The group guffawed loudly as the youngest prince blushed hotly and hid behind his wolf mask.

"I never!" Nori sniffed as he winked playfully at Kili, "Had many a lad try a flirt or two. I don't know whether to be proud of that or pretty darn bothered by the whole thing. Pulled it off well, didn't I? I look like a right good lassie."

"That you do," Balin chuckled, "Never thought that could happen. You are not feminine, but somehow you've pulled off the illusion."

"Did you break into my mother's room?" Fili questioned looking a bit angry.

"No, dearest Lion," Nori denied as Fili scowled at him, pushing the lion mask up to his forehead, "I actually got the dress from the tailor. Your mother had torn the sleeve and I remembered seeing the repaired dress this morning when I picked up Ori's mending."

"You did?" Dori asked, "You mean you actually followed through with something I asked you to do? Pigs are flying over Middle-Earth."

"Ha ha," Nori groused rubbing at his side for a moment, "The other two accomplices have been caught and await your questioning, King Thorin."

"Good," Thorin grinned out, "I will enjoy that questioning. Now can you get out of that ridiculous outfit?"

"Gladly," Nori grinned out as he again rubbed at his side, "This corset is…."

The spymaster said not another word, but crumpled right where he stood in a pile of ringlets and skirts.

"Nori!" most of the company gasped as they rushed forward.

Dori and Ori reached their brother first and gently turned him over only to realize something frightening.

"He's not breathing!" Dori exclaimed before grunting as he was shoved backwards, "Dwalin?"

The warrior slit the dress up the back with a dagger and then snapped the laces on the corset that Nori was wearing. As the tension eased in the corset, Nori took a gulping breath and then another.

"Air," Nori gasped trembling as his brothers hovered anxiously, "Breathing is such a good feeling."

"Who laced you up?" Dwalin spat as he observed the impressions of the corset left in Nori's skin as he pulled at the thing to loosen it as much as possible, "Whoever did this forget that breathing is a necessity. You've been rubbing at your sides all night. I noticed that even before you revealed that you were actually Nori."

"The tailor helped me dress," Nori coughed out sitting up on his own and groaning at the state of the garments, "Princess Dis is going to kill me."

"I'll get her a new dress," Thorin soothed, "Can you stand?"

"Sure," Nori agreed as he was helped to his feet by Dwalin and Dori, "Whoa."

Dori grabbed at his brother's arm as he swayed.

"You should have taken that thing off immediately," Dori hissed, "I will be talking to that tailor about this."

"He was rushed," Nori defended, "Neither of us realized how tight it was. It wasn't until I got to the ball that I realized breathing was an issue, but stopping the assassin was more important. Let it go. All of you need to get back to the ball. I'll go change."

"I will escort you," Dwalin decided before staring Dori down, "The Master of Ceremonies needs to be back in the ballroom. I will make sure your brother gets to his chambers."

"Fine," Dori sighed, "Take a quick bath, Nori. Get those ridiculous curls out of your hair and please fix your beard properly."

Nori mock saluted and allowed Dwalin to lead him back to his chambers. It took no time at all for Dwalin to have him unclothed beneath the skirts so he could pound deep inside of his lover as Nori moaned his appreciation.

"Never. Do. This. Again," Dwalin bit out as he continued to rock into Nori who was shoved against the wall, "You are for no other to covet, but me."

"Coveting was not the plan," Nori hissed out before gasping and arching some more as the ride got harder, "Saving Thorin was the plan. This is just a bonus. Harder. _Uhn_."

Dwalin chuckled before setting a rhythm that had his lover screaming in pleasure before they both found their release.

"You weren't breathing," Dwalin whispered cradling his lover in his arms as he sat on the bed afterwards.

"I'm sorry that I scared you," Nori apologized as the warrior pulled him closer, "Corsets are evil."

Dwalin snickered and then helped his lover ease out of the broken corset and ripped dress before the two ended up in the tub writhing against one another.

"You really are possessive tonight," Nori chuckled as Dwalin rutted against his backside, "Mahal. You are…mmm…more."

"Anything my lass wishes," Dwalin agreed before grunted as he was pushed backwards in the large tub.

"Lass, am I?" Nori growled turning his back, "I hope your boulders turn blue. I'll not let you finish within me now."

Dwalin grumbled as his lover ducked under the water and then began washing his hair vigorously once he came back up. The warrior hissed when he saw the places that the corset had rubbed raw.

"Not a lass," Dwalin murmured as he came up behind his angry lover and began to clean and kiss each raw area, "Never a lass. Only ever my Nori."

"Hmph," Nori snorted and then ducked under the water again to rinse his hair of the soap.

Dwalin pulled the other close again. Nori refused to look at him, but hummed as his lover massaged his back before lifting him and impaling the smaller dwarf once again.

"Mine," Dwalin sighed as his hips worked against Nori's, "Only mine."

"Prick," Nori huffed before hissing as Dwalin's hands fisted him, "More."

More was done and then Nori leaned bonelessly against Dwalin.

"Don't want to go back out there," Nori breathed as his lover helped him out of the tub.

"We have to," Dwalin chuckled already drying off and reaching for his clothes.

"Botheration," Nori sighed before standing and grabbing some towels to dry off, "Fine."

"Wait," Dwalin called as he walked over fully dressed and carefully spread some salve over the raw areas on Nori's chest, back, and hips, "I'm going to bandage these so they are not uncomfortable."

Nori nodded and allowed the bandaging before he dressed in what he had been planning on wearing to the ball prior to the whole assassin thing and glared at his wavy hair.

"Ugh. These waves are going to take some time to get out of my hair," Nori whined as he decided to just do several braids that he wove together in the back before braiding his beard in the regular style he usually used.

"You cut your braids," Dwalin grumbled reaching to stroke his lover's eyebrows.

"They will grow back," Nori soothed, "I still have the beads you gave me. Look I put them in my beard. Did you see what I choose to represent me tonight?"

"A fox?" Dwalin laughed as Nori held up the mask, "Fits."

"Like your bear mask doesn't fit you?" Nori chuckled as he stood, "Let's get this over with before Dori comes to haul me out of here."

Nori startled back into Dwalin when he opened his door and Dori nearly fell through.

"Sorry," Dori chuckled, "I was about to knock when the door opened and I lost balance as my hand swung down. A fox? Fits."

"That's what Dwalin said," Nori admitted before startling once again when Dori pulled him forward and peered down his loose tunic, "What are you doing?"

"Why are you bandaged?" Dori hissed pulling the shirt up, "Are you injured?"

"No. Just rubbed raw in areas because of that corset," Nori soothed as Dori relaxed, "Dwalin cleaned the areas and put some salve on already. I'm fine."

"Okay," Dori said as he smoothed his brother's shirt back down, "I'm a bit on edge. You not breathing scared Ori and I very badly. Don't do that again."

"I won't," Nori assured as his brother looked relieved, "So what are you supposed to be? A peacock?"

"I am a nightingale," Dori sniffed, "Let's go."

"Maybe you should have been a hen," Nori teased as his brother glared over his shoulder, "A sweet, little mother hen. That would fit you better than a nightingale."

"Shut it," Dori huffed as he stomped away

"Or a horse," Nori continued bouncing along behind his brother, "You would have made a great nag."

"Nori," Dori warned as his brother chuckled.

"Or a rattlesnake," Nori giggled as Dori whirled on him, "You come out of nowhere to strike hard and fast. Very fierce."

"Just get in there," Dori growled as Nori waltzed into the ballroom whistling innocently, "Mahal, give me strength."

"To us both," Dwalin added as the eldest Ri looked at him, "You realize that your brother put himself in terrible danger tonight and I'm not talking about that horrible corset."

"I do," Dori agreed as the two watched Nori dancing with Princess Dis, "He throws himself into whatever he does. Some have thought my brother cowardly. He is not. He's scheming and strikes hard and fast, using his own words. A rattlesnake fits him more than me."

"I concur," Dwalin hummed, "Plus, I agree with the hen fitting you better anyway."

"Dwalin son of Fundin, you take that back," Dori hissed as the warrior shot off towards the king, "No respect!"

"Whatever did you do to our Master of Ceremonies?" Balin asked with his owl mask back in place.

"Just poked at him a bit," Dwalin chuckled, "What is Bombur supposed to be? A pig?"

"I think it's supposed to be a boar," Balin admitted, "The mask has got tusks. Bofur has been trying to get his brother to wear a different mask all night."

Dwalin heard a small bit of fussing and saw Nori teasing Gloin over the rooster mask his wife had insisted he wear. The warrior watched as his lover skittered out of harm's way and hid behind Oin who had flat out refused to wear a mask at all.

"He is something," Thorin observed as Dwalin snorted, "I don't think I've ever had a dwarf dress as a dam to keep me safe before. This is a first."

"With Nori, things are always a first," Dwalin chuckled as Nori spun Kili out on the dance floor howling that his true love had come at last as Fili and Ori doubled over in laughter.

Dwalin watched his lover and hid a tender smile as Nori led Kili through a wild array of spins as the two laughed. He would probably have to shake Nori down tonight to return all the items that the thief was attracted to for this evening. No one really complained anymore in Erebor about the spymaster's habit since Nori never kept the stolen items, but merely was attracted to pretty and shiny.

"A magpie," Dwalin chuckled as his king looked at him oddly, "That is what Nori should have dressed as. Shiny and sparkly things attract that one's eye."

"Good point," Thorin agreed, "Be sure to get my bracelet back from your little hussy, please. I have no idea when he snatched it."

"One never does," Dwalin grinned out before thinking to himself, "No. Even I have no idea when you stole my heart, Nori. You can keep that bauble of mine. I give it to you gladly."

Nori's eyes caught his and he smiled mischievously before prancing off. The warrior had no problem that a thief stole his heart.

The end.


End file.
